Lessons from Farrah: Why Dog Daycare Isn’t for Every Dog

As a dog trainer, I’m often asked, “Where do you send your dogs for daycare?” There’s an assumption that daycare or the dog park is a natural part of any well-rounded dog’s life, especially for active or intelligent breeds. In theory, it sounds perfect: dogs play all day, burn off energy, and come home tired and happy. But that wasn’t the reality for my German Shepherd, Farrah. Through her, I learned that dog daycare—while wonderful for some—isn’t the right fit for every dog, especially not for a sensitive, intense herding breed female.

Farrah is now an adult female German Shepherd who has been through extensive training and has earned multiple titles in scent detection, obedience and agility. She’s smart, focused, and incredibly driven—everything I love about herding breeds. But like many adult female dogs, especially from protective or working lines, she has strong opinions about her space, her boundaries, and how other dogs should behave. These qualities, while totally valid and manageable in a structured environment, became real challenges in the unpredictable chaos of a daycare or dog park setting.

Farrah as an adolescent puppy

The first time I brought Farrah to daycare as an adolescent puppy, I watched her closely. From the moment we entered the building, her body language spoke volumes. Her ears were back, her muscles tight, her movement was erratic and her gaze scanned every movement around her. She wasn’t showing obvious signs of fear or aggression, but she wasn’t relaxed either. She was hyperaware, constantly assessing the environment, and not in a way that suggested she was about to have fun. If you weren’t familiar with her she could have been mistaken as “excited” to be there.

In the playgroup, she didn’t romp with the others, wrestle, sniff other dogs or play chase. Instead, she posted herself in a corner and watched everything. When dogs got too rowdy, she inserted herself—sometimes by barking, sometimes by blocking or body-checking—to try and restore order. Her herding instincts were in overdrive. Where some dogs let the chaos roll off their backs, Farrah felt responsible for managing it, the quintessential “fun police”. It wasn’t play for her; it was work, and it was incredibly stressful.

Farrah enjoying off leash play

This level of environmental control is common in herding breeds. They’re wired to manage motion and space, not to join in a free-for-all. But in a daycare or dog park setting with five or more dogs, that instinct can backfire. Farrah wasn’t enjoying the experience—she was overwhelmed. Her arousal levels stayed high the entire time, and that had lasting effects. After a few daycare sessions, I started seeing changes in her behavior at home. She became more reactive on walks, more easily startled, and more vocal when things felt out of place. It wasn’t just that she was tired from daycare—it was that she was dysregulated.

Another factor that played into Farrah’s daycare struggles was her status as an adolescent female dog. In my experience, as females age they often have more rigid social boundaries than males or puppies. They can be less tolerant of rude behavior and less willing to engage in play with unfamiliar dogs. Farrah expected other dogs to behave with the same level of communication and respect that she did—and when they didn’t, she got frustrated. While she never started fights, she would defend herself or correct another dog quickly and firmly, which daycare staff sometimes misread as aggression.

The reality is that many daycare environments are designed for the easygoing, socially fluid dogs—those who enjoy fast-paced play with lots of different personalities. But dogs like Farrah often find that environment overwhelming or even distressing. Her idea of a good time is a calm walk through the woods, a sniffing game in the backyard, or working with me one-on-one. That’s what actually fulfills her. She doesn’t need to “play” with a dozen unfamiliar dogs to be happy; in fact, that kind of social demand drains her.

Training agility is one way we tire out Farrah

Daycare isn’t inherently bad. For some dogs, it’s a dream come true. But for dogs like Farrah—adult females, herding breeds, dogs with high arousal or sensitive nervous systems—it can be too much. And that’s okay. Just like people, dogs are individuals. They don’t all need the same type of social life, and they shouldn’t be forced into one-size-fits-all models of enrichment. The key is to know your dog and advocate for what truly serves them, even if it goes against popular opinion.

Pulling Farrah from daycare was one of the best decisions I made for her well-being. Instead of pushing her into an environment that didn’t suit her needs, I focused on enriching her life in ways that respected her temperament. We do scent work, structured training games, decompression walks, and low-pressure socialization with dogs she already knows and likes. She’s calmer, more confident, and more fulfilled now than she ever was during her daycare days.

Playing disk is a favorite pastime!

Farrah reminded me that honoring your dog’s unique needs is not only valid—it’s essential. She’s also taught me that our job as dog guardians isn’t to make our dogs fit into human ideas of what they “should” enjoy. It’s to honor who they are and create a life that works for them. She doesn’t need daycare or dog parks to be a happy, fulfilled dog. She just needs the right kind of stimulation, at the right pace, with the right partners. And now, she finally has that.

NACSW Nosework makes her sniffing dreams come true!